Return to Whenever


Somewhere slinking down 86th Street is my memorything
Parading ghostlike flush against wind-chill factor
Is the wavy wiry blast of unruly shag Puerto Rican flag hair that was
My adolescence, brooding and happy to be against everything
Subway downtown snaking past the green-tentacled memory
Of an exploding Impressionism, Van Gogh growing wild like
Weeds in a skanky Bronx parking lot, passing the cheap red wine
And foaming fuming at the already-dilettante waves of resistance

Oh upper Broadway the sirens of transvestite secanol slurping Lark smokers
Gusts of gray, of Berlin skies that failed the physics finals
All fading but not disappeared by the Barnes and Noble coffee catastrophe
I see the mist clearing, revealing the fine young hands before me
Neither Yahweh nor Moloch nor Beame or Lindsay obscuring
These alleys and platforms of no-spitting elegance are black as
My warmest thoughts, always the spring of subway mildew
And rotting buildings lift my heart in the song of soot surrender

Maybe I was the shadow I just saw flashing past me
Claiming the concrete vomit where all the stabbing and shooting
Was cremated, ashes spread on my forehead in Lenten longing
Walking those crack-filled sidewalks with broken boots strapped for cash
Catching the guilty glimpse, there she goes, vanishing and screaming
Down the filthy steps to manic panic underground bliss
That’s where this queasy city and I shared our first kiss
Oh that you could have walked and wailed like I did, liquid souls careening
