Brokeback Immigration Policy


Well maybe I'm just a privileged colonized Nuyorican, and should realize that if I were threatened with deportation, I would surely do the immigrant loyalty minstrel show. To get over. It's the same kind of failing as the one I had tonight when watching a performance of the Oscar-winning song "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." I don't know why I take things so literally; it's so Caliban/norteamerica of me. The song isn't saying, I'm really a pimp, yo. It's just a metaphor for you know, the hard-knock life we writers live. This I-Pod, carefully concealed in my Patagonia bubble jacket, is my gold chain. This Dell laptop I scribble on, my Cadillac. These subtle, calculated attacks on my peers and would-be competitors, my beatdowns.

While we're on the subject, is Crash (Falling Down meets 21 Grams) not the worst movie ever to win Best Picture at the Oscars? It really was the first movie in several years that I paid to rent that I could not watch after the first half hour. (I dutifully fast-forwarded through several sequences for sociological reasons.) I mean at least Ludacris got a chance to show that he was a decent actor but the screenplay he had to deliver was one of the most noxious white person's fantasy of what a "smart ni&&a" must be like I've ever seen. Of course I'm not going to mention the Neanderthal Chicano character nor the umpteenth-thousandth Mexican maid (it's as if Hattie MacDaniel was in every movie ever made about African-Americans, except she didn't dominate her employers with her sassy wit and instead stood around timidly in the hopes of avoiding notice by the immigration agents posted all around the set and the movie theater itself) characterization. The whole bit about Matt Dillon supposedly redeeming himself by saving Thandie Newton in the car wreck after racially and sexually harassing her (and oh yes, emasculating her hubby, the erstwhile Hustle & Flow pimp Terence Howard) almost made both Sin City and Team America: World Police seem like mature works of art. Yeah I know you like Don Cheadle. But what the heck was his character doing, anyway? And why is everybody a cop?
The only explanation for this seems to be that the academy was too scared to give Brokeback Mountain the award, so they erred in favor of the astonishingly bad race drama over the highly subversive cowboy kissing. Then again, maybe there was too much Latino subtext for them in Brokeback. Ennis del Mar, according to some internet rumours, is an erased Hispanic.

Rodrigo Prieto, a Mexican (21 Grams), did the cinematography, Gustavo Santaolalla, an Argentinean (yep, 21 Grams) won for best soundtrack. And let's not forget the "short leash" line (second most quoted after the "can't quit you" line), which mentions Mexico. By the time they flashed those yeah I'm a pimp and yeah I'm a ho reaction shots of Marc and J-Lo during the "Hard for a Pimp Out Here" performance, we were already over our quota.